By Mike Williscraft
‘Twas the night before lockdown, when all through town hall,
Not a “5” member was silent, they continued to bawl.
Their mics were all muted in a quick blur,
Due to super annoying shouts of ‘point of order’.
Their IC complaints were all hung at the door,
It can be said of Grimsby council, it’s not a bore.
Council were nestled all snug in their chairs,
They campaigned on truth but are putting on airs.
The taxpayers were home all watching live stream,
While visions of recalls made their smile beam.
I, on my couch, with Zero nearby,
Expecting to see common sense be defied.
When out on the lawn there arose a big hubbub,
Quickly their heads snapped to see what’s the rub.
The moon on the breast of the rain-damped ground,
Raised a few eyebrows at what they soon found.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But miniature sleigh and five emboldened reindeer.
The little old driver was lively but wheezed,
He was not happy, definitely displeased.
More rapid than eagles the five they did fly,
Integrity and honour all gone bye, bye.
“Now, Ritchie! Now, Kadwell! Now, Dunstall and Vaine!
On Sharpe, come you guys, don’t be such pains!
To the top of Peach King and around the Co-Gen,
The team was unstable, definitely in need of zen.
As the dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
With incessant whining their driver’s mind they did fry.
So into council chambers St. Nick came with a bound,
He had a bone to pick and the source he had found.
Though not on the agenda, to the mic he did sprint,
The mystery was over, with nary a hint.
He was dressed all in fur, but was soaked to the core,
As he spoke a puddle formed on the carpeted floor.
“What is with parking in this charming little hovel?
“I’m unsure about next year, on that I will mull”.
A bundle of toys he had back in the sleigh,
But it was coal for Grimsby 5. Toys? No way!
For they were on the “Naughty List” for conduct unbecoming,
The report from the
Ombudsman, it’s coming.
“Bullying and whining is no way to behave!”
“Point of order! Point of order!” calls came with a finger wave.
“Mr. Mayor this chump should be tossed from the chamber.”
The mayor saying, “I’ll allow it” definitely caused a stir.
Santa teed off on a host of complaints,
Not the least of which dealt with heritage committee restraints.
“Do you want Main East to be Winston Road 2?”
“Well get your act together. You know what to do.”
The stump of his pipe he still held tight in his teeth,
He shook his head repeatedly, what will you bequeath?”
“I’m far behind schedule, can’t find anywhere to park.”
Have you visited anyone at Grimsby on the Lake, it’s a lark.”
“You five want to build like the previous crew.”
I can tell you, a similar fate certainly awaits you!”
“To get on the ‘Nice List’ check your egos at the door.”
Remember your purpose, and what your here for.”
He was chubby and plump a right jolly old elf,
Though royally cheesed, he gave a good accounting of himself.
For me it was comical, if not truly sad.
Santa had nailed it, even going light just a tad.
He could have lit into them going well into the night,
But his method was honest, not there to fight.
St. Nick made his point they need to do better,
In 2021 they can improve, there’s time to recover.
For the year after that an election rolls around, big fun,
And being on Santa’s Naughty List just won’t get it done!
With a mic drop and quick turn he went straight for his sleigh,
He had one thing left to shout as he went on his way,
“Merry Christmas to all, 2020 sucked huge!
Show kindness and warmth and you won’t be a Scrooge.”
* * * * * * *
Wrapping up what has been a completely brutal year in oh so many ways, my true wish for all is a blessed 2021. Be safe and healthy.
Step back and appreciate what you do have, because it can always be worse.
Have a very Merry Christmas.